Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Staring me in the face....

There it was, staring me in the face. A two tiered cake, that smelled of sugar and looked enticing. My daughters Bat Mitzvah. We danced, we sang, we ate and then came the cake. I had to dish out piece by piece the sweet smelling sugary delight to our lovely guests, when inside I was saying to myself - I want to eat the biggest piece known to man. I could just jump right into this pool of deliciousness. I got to thinking about this afterwards, why do I do this? Why do I feel as if there isn't going to be any for me, and feel I have to have a bunch of it? Why isn't a sliver enough?

I am seeking my soul in prayer for these answers. I don't know. Maybe somewhere in my heart, I feel left out, I feel deprived.
I grew up feeling as if I was a wall flower on the side of the room of life. I was invisible to the world. Something deeper maybe or just because I am a messed up human being that only because of Yeshua (Jesus) sacrifice did my life ever have meaning. (Which by the way I am truly grateful - I am growing to love Him more everyday and myself). I am not sure but one thing I do know, is that, He has given me hope, and I am going to use it.

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